In the early wee small hours at an hotel in Edinburgh during the festival the young lady at reception was confronted by a well dressed but seriously pissed Weegie guest who stumbled down from the second floor and saying in front of her said " Haw hen, gonnae geez anurra rrom?"
"Well sir," she replied, "we're a bit crowded as its the festival so I don't know whether I could shift you immediately. It's pretty late you know"
"Mmm'shory" said the guest courteously but slightly loder, " I repeat - gonnae geez anurra room?"
"Why what's the matter isn't the room I gave you comfortable?" she asked.
"Sheems awright" admitted the Weegie guest, "Nev'less naidtaebe mooved"
"Well, what's the matter with your room?" she asked exasperated by now.
Leaning forward conspiritorially the Weegie bent forward clutching the reception counter he said to her in a conspiritorial whisper, "Shh'oan fire!"