Andy Murray

Andy Murray
New Wimbledon Champ?? (2010) ,maybe next year

Tuesday, 28 August 2007

Scotland, Brainiest Bunch in Britain. Official!!

Test the Nation, a quiz on BBC Television was aired last night. They take teams of work groups such as surgeons, removal men etc etc and pitch them against each other in an IQ Test.
People at home can take part interactively and online.
Out of 70 questions, made up of memory tasks, observation tasks and the like, I managed 59 correct. This gives me an IQ of 125. Pretty good considering the highest is 146!! I am impressed if not a little surprised lol.
The BBC also collate the results from all interactive and online participants to find the average IQ of each of the 4 home nations, NIreland, Wales,England and of course Scotland.
Guess What!
Its no suirprise to me.............
With an average IQ of 94.
Come on the Scots.
(For proof of our iontelligence read "whas Like us" down the right hand column.

Monday, 20 August 2007

Some Geographical Facts on Scotland

Scotland is the oldest rock on the British Isles, proving once and for all that Scotland was here first. It has two great lakes or lochs known as Loch Ness and Loch Lomond put there by the Scottish tourist board to attract visitors. The others are for the use of absentee land lords who generally reside south of the border.Scotland has lots of weather and usually all on the same day, apart from public holidays and the Glasgow Fair when it can be guaranteed to rain pissistantly(persistantly)

Scotlands had enough of...........

1) Sectarian Chants at football matches especially old firm!
2) The Shitty Summer Weather, again!
3) BBC Scotland showing nothing Scottish!
4) The very poor accents on River City!
5) Non Scots (heathens) not able to understand us Scots.
6) England and America forgetting that they didnt invent things but it was all our idea!
(see "Wah's Like Us" above)

Thursday, 16 August 2007

Tam the Magician

Just like every other day jock and tasm are wanderin roon' the high street abusing everyone who passes by.
Tam then says to Jock "d'yeh ken Jock? Ahm noo a Magician!"
"Wit?" is Jocks reply
"Aye ahm noo a magician an a feckin great yin tae"
"Tam ah dinnae ken wit yir talkin aboot. Since when?"
"The ither day Jock." proclaims Tam
Jock asks " A'right wit trick did ye dae to convince yersel yer a magician?"
Tam Replies "Well ah wis just donnerin doon the street an ah turned intae a pub"

Tam the Magician

Jock and Tam, again as everyday, are strolling down the high street drinking Buckfast and hollering abuse at evry passer by, especially prats with briefcases as they are deemed, to jock and tam, as "pure scum man!"
Tam says to Jock "Hey jock am ah magician now"
Jock looks at him "wit ye talkin aboot now Tam?"
"Aye ahm noo a Magician"
Jock replies "hows on oor wee godforsaken wee planet are you a magician?"
Tam, with a smug look and a slight smirk on his face says "I was walkin doon the street the ither day and I turned into a PUB! Pure magic man"

Tuesday, 14 August 2007

Edinburgh Fringe Festival........

It is that time of year again. The population of Edinburgh swells twofold and none of the locals can get anywhere without losing their tit at some dipshit tourists who always seem to take up the whole pavement then decide to stop right in front of you!!!!!

The edinburgh Fringe festival started way back in 1947. It was officially penned as the fringe festival after journalist Robert Kemp reported ‘Round the fringe of official Festival drama, there seems to be more private enterprise than before … I am afraid some of us are not going to be at home during the evenings!’.

It has risen in popularity so much that it is now one of the largest festivals in the world and most definately the largest of its kind.

Accomodation is ussually booked up the previous year so if you do plan to visit next year, BOOK NOW!! (prices are hiked up a hell of a lot too).

From dance to literature, circus acts to serious drama there is something for everyone to enjoy no matter what age.

The best thing though is the Comedy!
Comedians from the world over gather to perform either established acts such as Ed Byrn Bill Bailey and the likes to new comers to the stand up circuit trying to grab recognition.
Some acts and venues can be quite expensive but familiar comedians are worth paying for.

Fancy free Fringing?????

Visit The Pear Tree House. Not only do they serve good cheap scottish pies, reasonably priced outdoor barbeques and a good array of lagers and ales the also boast a Beer Garden you could land a Boeng 747 in and this is where a fringe secret gem takes place. FREE FRINGING!
Different acts, mostly comedy, all day from 11am everyday of the festival and free.
Its a cracking day out and a very good way to catch free fringe shows.

Pear Tree House 38 West Nicolson Street Edinburgh EH8 9DD Tel: 0131 667 7533