Jock and Tam, again as everyday, are strolling down the high street drinking Buckfast and hollering abuse at evry passer by, especially prats with briefcases as they are deemed, to jock and tam, as "pure scum man!"
Tam says to Jock "Hey jock am ah magician now"
Jock looks at him "wit ye talkin aboot now Tam?"
"Aye ahm noo a Magician"
Jock replies "hows on oor wee godforsaken wee planet are you a magician?"
Tam, with a smug look and a slight smirk on his face says "I was walkin doon the street the ither day and I turned into a PUB! Pure magic man"