How many Scotsmen does it take to change a light bulb? Och! It's no that dark!
Double glazing is doing great business in Scotland in hope that the children cannot hear the icecream van when it comes round.
At an auction in Glasgow a wealthy American announced that he had lost his wallet containing £10,000 and would give a reward of £100 to the person who found it.From the back of the hall a Scottish voice shouted, "I'll give £150!"
A Scottish newspaper ad "Lost - a £5 note. Sentimental value.
HOUSEWIVES: I find the best way to get two bottles of washing-up liquid for the price of one is by putting one in your shopping trolley and the other in your coat
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