Susan Boyle. International Superstar ?

BGT! Britains Got Talent!

Ashton Kutcher, Demi Moore, Dustin Hoffman, President Obama are just a few of the A list names banded around when it comes to the newly crowned queen of entertainment, the one and only SUBO.

Ok, so, a lonely auld spinster pops up on an over rated talent show and takes the world by storm. Every one is talking about how talented and gifted this unlikely creature is. I beg to differ!!

Subo can, I admit, hold the notes of two songs quite well but give her an Abba number and she falls to pieces shouting for her cat and running around hotel lobbys pointing at random folk.

This woman is the reason why Scottish people should never be allowed on reality television. In fact any television without a strict vetting process. Her inane warblings, her emotional breakdowns and that wierd dance she does when cameras are around screams pure insanity, an insanity Im sure she has suffered for most of her life but it has only now come to the fore with all the pressure she finds herself in.

She is not the only Scot to embarrass us. Look at previous BIG BROTHER. Any Scottish person to become a housemate has been either mad or intorable, granted Karly in BB09 isnt too bad.

Scotland does not want to be portrayed by these morons or by people who break down at the slightest hint of popularity, we just want to switch the telly on and not be reminded of how bad our accent sounds to others and how mad a nation we must actually be.

It has been ages

Well hello my faithfull few I hope you havent missed me too much.

I know it has been more than a while but hey Im back now with new rants and jokes and other material to be getting on with and I am proud to announce we have just had a "Wee Boy". He is absolutely fantastic and ill post a couple o' pics later.............

tam and senga

Tam gets home and the first thing he does is flop onto the sofa and demands "Senga, get me a beer before it starts!"
Senga strolls through and passes Tam his beer.
After about 2 mins Tam, again, shouts "Senga! Quick get me another beer before it starts!"
Once more Senga passes him a beer and yet once more Tam shouts "another beforee it starts!"
Senga storms through and shouts "Listen here you lazy fat beggar, get up off your lazy ass and get the beers yourself and stop barking orders and...."
Tam mutters to himself at this point "And there it starts!"

Some Geographical Facts on Scotland

Scotland is the oldest rock on the British Isles, proving once and for all that Scotland was here first. It has two great lakes or lochs known as Loch Ness and Loch Lomond put there by the Scottish tourist board to attract visitors. The others are for the use of absentee land lords who generally reside south of the border.Scotland has lots of weather and usually all on the same day, apart from public holidays and the Glasgow Fair when it can be guaranteed to rain pissistantly(persistantly)

Scotlands had enough of...........

1) Sectarian Chants at football matches especially old firm!

2) The Shitty Summer Weather, again!

3) BBC Scotland showing nothing Scottish!

4) The very poor accents on River City!

5) Non Scots (heathens) not able to understand us Scots.

6) England and America forgetting that they didnt invent things but it was all our idea!

(see "Wah's Like Us" above)

Edinburgh Fringe Festival........

It is that time of year again. The population of Edinburgh swells twofold and none of the locals can get anywhere without losing their tit at some dipshit tourists who always seem to take up the whole pavement then decide to stop right in front of you!!!!!

The edinburgh Fringe festival started way back in 1947. It was officially penned as the fringe festival after journalist Robert Kemp reported ‘Round the fringe of official Festival drama, there seems to be more private enterprise than before … I am afraid some of us are not going to be at home during the evenings!’.

It has risen in popularity so much that it is now one of the largest festivals in the world and most definately the largest of its kind.

Accomodation is ussually booked up the previous year so if you do plan to visit next year, BOOK NOW!! (prices are hiked up a hell of a lot too).

From dance to literature, circus acts to serious drama there is something for everyone to enjoy no matter what age.

The best thing though is the Comedy!
Comedians from the world over gather to perform either established acts such as Ed Byrn Bill Bailey and the likes to new comers to the stand up circuit trying to grab recognition.
Some acts and venues can be quite expensive but familiar comedians are worth paying for.

Fancy free Fringing?????

Visit The Pear Tree House. Not only do they serve good cheap scottish pies, reasonably priced outdoor barbeques and a good array of lagers and ales the also boast a Beer Garden you could land a Boeng 747 in and this is where a fringe secret gem takes place. FREE FRINGING!
Different acts, mostly comedy, all day from 11am everyday of the festival and free.
Its a cracking day out and a very good way to catch free fringe shows.



Pear Tree House 38 West Nicolson Street Edinburgh EH8 9DD Tel: 0131 667 7533

http://www.thepeartreehouse.co.uk/

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